First Kiss
by PinkShiori
Summary: [one shot] Shiznat Mai Otome based When still a coral student Natsuki is upset over her first kiss and asks Shizuru for some help. pre anime


-1**Genre: **Romance /fluff  
**Characters: **Shizuru and Natsuki  
**Rating:** K+  
**Word Count:** 1653  
**Disclaimer:** If Shizuru was mine…well, it's not the case !

Beta-ed by Teresa Kaiju 

**First Kiss**

There are two people that I hate more than anything in this world. The first one is Tokiha Mai, the second is that boy - I don't even want to remember his name - I saw her with the other day. "Her" is Natsuki Kruger, Coral student for the Garderobe school. As an aspiring Otome she has been assigned to my room cleaning duty some three months ago.

Do you believe in love at first sight ? Well I don't either. I'm not even sure if what I feel for her could be qualified as "love". All I know is that I am always longing for her presence. I wish she would be with me all the time, with me and only me. I admit it is not fair to her. She is not mine, I should let her be free, live her own life. I should accept that she has other friends, see other people, but I can't.

That is the reason why I don't like Mai; it's nothing personal, really, Mai seems to be quite a nice person and under other circumstances I am pretty sure we could have been friends. The fact is that every time Natsuki looks at her, talks to her, talks of her I feel like ripping her eyes out (Mai's). For I would like to be the one Natsuki looks at, the only one, as she is the only one I look at. She is the most important thing in the world to me, but am I to her ? Chances are I'm not. I mean, she is a (perfect) perfectly regular 15-year old girl, and regular girls have no reason to be attracted to other girls, like the freak I am.

When I saw her with that boy the other day they seemed to get along pretty well. And, even though it broke my heart, I decided to be happy for her. When she told me about him - she tells me everything by the way - I smiled and encouraged her to date him again. She may be what is good for me, but all I want is what is good for her, even if it means her being with a man.

Someone is knocking at my door. It is her and she looks upset. I make some tea for us and when I come back she has already made herself at home. She is sitting on my bed clutching one of my pillows in her arms, lost in her thoughts, she looks so cute I want to kiss her right here. But that is not my place to do so, I'm just her friend

She does not seems to be willing to talk anytime soon.

_"How was your day?" _I ask in a desperate attempt to start a conversation.

_"Well.." _she starts and I notice she is avoiding my eyes, _" I spent the day with Takeda, he took me to the beach, it was very romantic." _

Stab me through the heart.

_"We talked a bit and then he kissed me."_

Twice!

She was looking through the window when she said that so she could not see the flash of disappointment in my eyes, or was it anger ? Yes I am angry. Not at her (never), not at him, not even at myself, I'm just plain angry that I was not Natsuki's first kiss.

But hey, who am I trying to fool ? It was bound to happen one day or another. Remember Shizuru, you are her friend, play the friend part like the normal schoolgirl you are pretending to be.

_"So? How was it? Did you like it?" _I ask in a (fake) exited voice.

_"Not really" _she answers languidly.

'Not really' ? What is wrong with her ? She should be over excited about it, she should be happy, she should be beaming and talking non stop. I search her eyes for an explanation but she casts them away again.

_"It was not bad," _she says, _"but it was strange, as if something was off."_

"_It was your first kiss after all" _I say to try and calm her down, _"It is usual for girls to feel strange the first time a cute boy kiss them-" _

_"No No! You don't understand! He is a nice boy and all - but I just feel like I didn't want to be kissed by him. Nor by any boy. Ever…" _

_"I see"_

Wait! No I don't !! What does it mean she does not 'want to be kissed by any boy ever' ? Would that mean? - No that would be too good to be true. Maybe she just is not mature enough to think of boys that way.

_"Shizuru…" _her voice makes me snap out of my reverie and I focus on her. _"It may seem weird but I'd like to ask you something."_

She is fumbling with the hem of my pillow, still not meeting my eyes, it must be something important. Ok, Shizuru, play it cool, reassuring motherly tone, that girl is a wreck.

_"Go on." _

_"Ok…" _She blushes _"Have you ever,"_ she hesitates _"have you ever kissed anyone?" _

Wow! I was expecting anything but that!

_"Yes I have." _I answer truthfully.

Miyuki was a cute girl, mousy face, loving personality and far too shy. Clearly not made to become an Otome. I wonder what has become of her.

_"I see, and don't you regret it now ?" _There definitely something wrong with Natsuki.

_"No I don't, but why this question?" _

_"Well -" _She blushes once more, _"when I think of him, when I think of that kiss.. I wish it did not happen. I know it sounds strange, but I feel as if I shouldn't have allowed him to be my first kiss, as if it was not right."_

To me it is this whole conversation that is not right. Speaking of kissing with her is getting really uncomfortable, all the more uncomfortable as the only thing I have been able to focus on for the past five minutes are her full red lips, just begging to be kissed again. Her fault, by the way, she still won't meet my eyes so I have to focus on something else.

She reaches for her cup and sips her tea nervously, as if she was afraid of something, of me ? I drink too and we settle in a tense silence. Then she suddenly sets her cup aside and looks straight at me.

_"Shizuru, the reason I came her today, well I'd like to make sure of something. I would like you to" _She is blushing like mad, I did not know it was possible for one to be this red. Natsuki always amazes me.

_"I would like you to kiss me jsutoncetocompareandkwowwhatwaswrong."_

Anything for my Natsuki-WAIT! Rewind. She wants me to kiss her. As in 'kiss' ? Oh no! No! Shizuru Viola you are not doing this. There is no way you are crossing the boundaries of friendship with this girl, she is way to important for you to loose her!

_"Please…" _She adds in a low voice.

Still, she's the one asking me to and she knows there is no way I can say no to her puppy eyes. _"Ok, I'll do it" _Besides if things get out of hand, it will be her fault. _"You asked for it" _I warn before claiming her lips.

What do you think it feels like ? Fireworks in my head ? Loosing ground and drowning in her touch? If that was you think, you're wrong. It is a hundred times better than that. It is the fulfilment of ninety one agonizing days of daydreams and fantasies, and I want more! Almost naturally I bring my left arm around her waist, pulling her closer, and the other one on the back of her head. But the moment I try to deepen the kiss I feel her pulling away.

And I let her go. As expected she did not like it, I should not have given into my desires so easily. I don't know what to say to her, she probably figured it all out now. Here, that's it, she think I'm so sick that she does not want to look at me anymore.

_"That was.." _she start hesitantly, but I don't want to hear anything.

_"I'm sorry!" _I say at once _"I got carried away, I should have controlled myself!" _

I'm so ashamed I cannot meet her eyes, I want to leave that room. I get up but the moment I try to leave she grabs my hand and pulls me back down on the bed with a sharp thug.

_"That was amazing." _she says softly.

_"Huh?" _What is she talking about?

I can feel her hand cupping my cheeks and she forces me to look at her. There is something strand in her eyes, warmth, longing - could it be love?

_"That kiss was simply amazing" _she repeats.

Her head is moving closer to mine. I'm not seeing things, am I ? I can feel her breath on my skin and I'm frozen on spot.

_"It helped me figure out many things."_ she smiles. _"Many, many things." _

She really is coming closer. "_And I was wondering" _closer and closer still _"could we do that again ?"_

She does not even let me any time to answer and closes the gap between our lips.

This must be the best kissed I've ever had, ever. I never thought my little Natsuki would be so eager, so intense. And surprisingly enough she does NOT taste of mayo.

As my fingers catch in her hair she pushes me down lightly and, lips still locked we fall back on the bed. She ends up on top of me, her legs straddling my hips and what happens next - is none of your business.

The end (or not)


End file.
